I wanted to buy a black turtle-neck sweater
I thought I wanted to fit in
look like I belong at all the professional and art events
I turn up to
I am from sunshine and islands
I am from colour

a white person went to India
discovered colour
and now sells it as premium

you are premium
but I am sore thumb and confusion

I didn’t know how to contend with living on stolen land
I was confused and out of place
I asked myself what is it

then I realized

I walk on streets named after colonizers
but never the people of this land
trams run green and yellow
the buildings it passes through
are not Aboriginal
I wanted to ask
Where did their architecture go?
Where are their sculptures?
Where is their art in the city?
Why is it still hidden?

then I walked into a park
and I saw the trees
little yellow flowers peeking at me
atleast for now
there it was
my missing link

First published in Jacaranda Journal Edition 11.1 ‘Exposed Roots’ in Winter, 2024.